Look out for these 5 Mom Burnout Symptoms
Mom Burnout Symptoms are part of our everyday. But identifying them helps manage them and get ahead of burnout!
Let’s talk about mom burnout symptoms. We know of them, but do we really know them? What they look, feel and sound like? I remember aching to be a mom while I was dealing with my initial PCOS diagnosis. And while I wouldn’t trade being a mom for anything today, I’ve gotta be honest, I wasn’t fully prepared for hot motherhood can very easily mirror other stressful triggers that can lead directly to burnout. It’s important to be as open as possible about how equally hard and rewarding it is. And while we try to always focus on the rewards, I think intending moms, new moms and OG moms need to be aware and have their feelings validated. We have to be real about how real this is and most importantly, recognise that feelings of stress or burnout in motherhood are totally normal, and not at all an indication of your ability (or lack of). Also, I think this knowledge is really great because these symptoms absolutely can be dealt with in a way that we can get ahead of them and break the cycle before we hit full-on burnout! What makes the difference? Knowledge, Validation, Attention and Support.
What even is Mom Burnout?
Mom Burnout is emotional and physical exhaustion caused by too much stress from parenting demands. Even the strongest moms can fall victim to burnout. In this blog post, we will explore the five most common symptoms of mom burnout and share tips on how to prevent them from moving from symptom to knocking us off our behinds.
1 - Consistently Demotivated: Do you ever feel like you simply have no desire to do anything? I’m not talking about being physically tired. I’m talking about you having had some sleep or space and still feeling uninspired and uninterested in getting things done. I’m talking about feeling this way consistently over a period of time. For high energy people like me, this is one of the first signs I’ve typically noticed. I know what I need to do and even how to do it, but I’m simply not inspired to think about it, much less get anything done.
When you feel this way, give yourself a break, take some space to do nothing. And if after a short while, there’s no positive change, you might be approaching mom burnout, and this is a key mom burnout symptom that glows like a flashing red light.
2 - Constantly fatigued: Do you feel tired no matter what? This is not the common exhaustion at the end of a busy day, week or weekend. No, that’s normal for every single living thing. This is fatigue, which is defined as “extreme tiredness resulting from mental or physical exertion or illness.” This typically manifests itself physically, and you might start to think you’re sick. You may experience chronic tiredness, sleepiness or lack of energy and even headaches and dizziness. Compounding this with your normal routines might make this mom burnout symptom even worse. Trust me, I’ve learnt this one the hard way.
It’s important to address fatigue rather than build even more stress on top of it. And not treating this like a symptom of mom burnout is a sure fire way to indeed get burnt out. Narrowing down your responsibilities to your basic needs and cutting out non-urgent, non-critical tasks should help give you some room to replenish your energy stock.
3 - Mood Swings: Whew! This one’s a doozy! If you’re naturally predisposed to mood changes, or have a hormone disorder that exacerbates mood changes, you know this one! And it’s hard to spot sometimes without a partner or friend calling it out. With mood changes, paying attention is key. I like to check in with myself when I’m alone. For a mom that basically means, when you’re in the car after the school drop-off, standing in line at the checkout counter, literally any snippet of solo time. Figure out how you’re feeling, what triggered the feeling and interrupt those negative thoughts. Surprise surprise - the same way they’re hard to spot by yourself, they’re also hard to address alone.
Talking helps me. Talk to a professional if you can afford to, talk to a friend, interrupt your negative thought spirals by reminding and reassuring yourself of these facts - “The way I feel is perfectly normal”, “My moods are a result of what is happening to me and not who I am”, “I am in control of my emotions”, “I am a good mom”, “I am a hardworking mom”... Add any affirmations that help center you, and keep breaking the cycle of self-loathing. Take some child-free time if you can, because our precious little and not-so-little ones feed off of our energy. It’s okay to take a step back sometimes. Even if it feels like selfishness, I promise you it really isn’t. If anything, it’s even more selfless and for their own benefit. It’s healing yourself so you can bring good energy to them and help them thrive. I found a really good resource here that goes into depth explaining the difference between Mom Burnout and Depression. Knowing the difference will help us know when, where and how to ask for help!
4 - Difficulty concentrating: This one is super hard to spot! Mixing up your kids’ names when you need to call them? Forgetting your password every morning when you try to log in at work? (yes, that was me a couple years ago!) Losing your train of thought when you speak, read or listen? yeah you’re most likely approaching mom burnout and this is an easy-to-miss sign of mom burnout.
Nothing to do here but breathe, recenter, take a day off if you can to ease the mental stimulation. I typically go out into nature - take a walk, drive or a post-nap workout. I find that quieting my mind in these moments makes me regain some focus.
5 - Withdrawing from activities: I recently wrote a blog about taking time away for yourself. And while a lot of times, it’s healing, sometimes this in itself is a symptom. For me this happens when I find myself constantly turning down invites, ignoring calls, dreading texts or even (and this one is my favourite), using the kids as an excuse not to engage with people.
I combat this through my support system. They hold me accountable because they know that while it’s okay to withdraw every now and then, an unhealthy amount of social isolation is a bad sign. Do you have a friend, family member or even a calendar reminder, to let you know when it’s time to engage? No? You’ve gotta do it!
Being a mom is an inherently challenging job and it’s important to be aware of the mom-burnout symptoms and triggers and take steps to prevent it from escalating beyond just signs. More than anything else, all the remedies in the 5 points above point to one thing -
We need to remember to practice self-care and make time for ourselves, because you can’t pour from an empty cup!
If you think you might be experiencing mom burnout, or you can relate to one or more of these symptoms listed above, be sure to talk to your doctor or a mental health professional for more help. Also, feel free to chime in in the comments below. Another struggling mom might be reading this!
Now that you’ve made it this far, just before you go back to crushing it and applying these tips, please take a couple minutes to enjoy this beautiful song I’ve been vibing to all week. It’s about a beautiful unapologetic woman just like you!