If I hear the word “Unprecedented” one more time…..

I say this a lot. But if I’m being honest, this year has been quite the decade. And while a few months in, I got tired of hearing the word ‘unprecedented’, the truth is that’s exactly what it has been. I don’t know about you but for me, every formula has been used and the equation is still not balanced. I’ve had to change my tactics from trying to balance the equation to figuring out how to live with the imbalance.

Words we used last year in passing have become the most frequent in our lexicon, and for good reason. Who would have thought we’d have the prefix ‘zoom’ in front of words we never expected to see in that context. This time last year who could conceive the thought of a zoom-wedding, zoom-baby shower, zoom-funeral. And these words are all related to just one of many events that have defined 2020, albeit a massive globally-spread one. But the truth is, there’s still so much else going on apart from and as a result of the pandemic. You would think that everything else should pause because we’re so busy with this particular “unprecedented”, right?

I tried to pull my skills from out of my hat, as I’m sure you did too. Getting on with things, adjusting to changes, creating fun despite the mess. And it worked… for a while. But here we are. A few days ago, I was trying to describe to my husband how I was feeling. The listlessness, deep-seated fatigue, lethargy, low motivation that I just couldn’t describe. In fact, it was only after our conversation that I came up with these adjectives. Then he reminded me what I had been dealing with. What we all have had to live with. Changes with no clear end in sight. Adjustments with no guarantee of success. Uncertainty with no future respite as consolation. On top of other “normal” life changes and complexities. He reminded me that the world was not ready for this. Organisations, economies, governments, institutions were not ready for this. Literally everyone and everything is struggling to cope. If lethargy is the big problem giving us pause, then perhaps we have overestimated our coping mechanisms, underestimated the harsh realities of 2020 and need to just stop and recognise that we are human. And considering what we have to work with, we are doing well.

It’s a simple fact but one we so often ignore in favour of pushing ourselves to be more and do more. But you’re human. You have developed habits and patterns over the years. But they have been thrown out the window in one blink. You can’t depend on the next person because for the first time, the entire world is dealing with the exact same issue. You are doing well! You are doing your best and really when you think about it, for now, it’s enough!

This period has shown me that a lot of my “must-haves” were actually luxuries. The things I actually NEED, I still have. The fickleness of life and the reality of mortality has never been so vivid. And with this realisation comes this clear perspective that there isn’t much within my control at this moment, and while I can’t make my peace with the uncertainties themselves, I can make my peace with the fact that we are living in uncertain times and simply take it easy on myself.

I just sent this note out to remind you, as I was reminded, that you are in an “unprecedented” situation - one with no clear manual or GPS routing. You are working with a limited toolkit, more so than what you had when you learnt life. If you did nothing today, you would have done enough. If all you did was hang in there, you have done more than enough. If you’re a go-getter like me, you have probably reached the fatigue point on the curve now, yet you’re pushing hard to crush more goals and tick more items off your lists. But one thing I have now realised is that when you acknowledge the fact that you know yourself and your limits, you will see that there is a lot more room to give yourself some slack (in a healthy way) than you ever thought possible. And that’s okay. Because you never needed to do it before now. However, today, we’re in unprecedented times. So do me a favour and remember that you are human. And considering the circumstances of what 2020 has been, you are doing well.

Relax in this thought for a while. Take a deep breath. Give yourself a break. Do whatever it is you do to centre yourself. And stay hopeful that eventually, despite the jumbled-up schedules, cancelled travel plans, deep painful personal losses, financial insecurity, unmet goals, painful truths, inexplicable restlessness, stir-craziness and whatever else you have had to face so far in 2020, you will get back to being a rock-star. But for now, we’re all rocking this tide in our own way. And that’s okay! Because it looks like 2020 has not been very kind to the world in many ways. The least we can do is be kind to ourselves.

PS: The Good Conversation series will be launching in a couple of weeks. No better time than now when most of us are locked down at home. So if you want to eavesdrop into some of my insightful and fun conversations with some phenomenal everyday people, keep your eyes peeled for more updates coming into your inbox.