PCOS & Me - Here we go!
I’ve heard as many PCOS diagnosis stories as I have had conversations with the women in my life who are dealing with PCOS (they’re called Cysters! Yes, it’s a thing and I love it!) Whether it was in response to a cycle anomaly, a routine test or in the middle of your search as to what was ‘wrong’ with you, no one I know remembers that day fondly. Everyone’s journey is unique but it all started from one moment of realisation. For some it was bittersweet confirmation that they weren’t going crazy about the anomalies they had noticed in their bodies, sad relief that it finally had a name. For others, it was shocking, sad, confusing, scary.
My experience was doubly negative because I had been investigating suspected infertility. Then I had to wait days for results of an extensive hormone profile, all while having no clue what was wrong with me but knowing there was something wrong. But check this: add to that, a flippant and condescending doctor who apparently needed to close for the weekend right after my Friday afternoon appointment. So he told me in as direct, detached, slightly irritated and dismissive a manner as you can possibly imagine, that I couldn’t ovulate, will most likely be unable to conceive much less carry any baby to full term, and to “go home and google polycystic ovaries” so we could talk more on Monday. Yes! That happened! I remember every word of that ridiculous encounter; one of the rare situations where I was speechless. It was bad yeah? Okay, how would you feel when I add that he told me all of this while I stood by his door and with other patients hanging around. Oh I didn’t go back on Monday! I’ll tell you later what I did instead.
Now that crazy scenario which I can never forget is in my rearview mirror… kinda.… I remember spending all weekend googling myself into a complete and utter fit. Like, did I even need him to tell me to Google? I had that on lock once I heard my condition had a name. And you know how googling symptoms or the name of any condition goes, right? Argh!
It was heartbreaking, mind-numbing and just plain depressing. But the feeling I remember most clearly was regret.
Regret because for years, since I hit puberty, I had enjoyed the fact that I didn’t have a regular period. I felt any day without cramps was a good day, so the fact that my period wasn’t as predictable as my friends’ didn’t raise any flags for me. I thought I was lucky! Ignorance was bliss indeed. Did I have other symptoms? Apparently I did. But I didn’t think they were serious because they were all mild. Without a map showing me how they all connected, it didn’t make sense. Until that day on the corridor and the internet search-overloaded weekend right after. Listen, if all I achieve today is to motivate one person who has an irregular cycle to go get checked, I would have achieved my mission already! Now, who’s to say knowing earlier would have made a considerable difference?
I learnt about my PCOS 14 years ago but I didn’t really take charge of my wellbeing until years later.
At the time, I knew so little and was surrounded by even less knowledge of hormone health. Maybe I would have brushed it off or worse. My focus at the time was on trying to be a mum. I’m not one to sit around with what-ifs so while I’ve moved on, I still recognise what a missed opportunity that was, and I think it’d be a waste if someone didn’t learn from my experience.
But now, looking back, I’m glad I got past that horrible experience with the most abysmal bedside manner I’d come across before and since. I’m glad I got on a plane, scoffed at the so-called free healthcare and paid my way out-of-pocket to a more thoughtful and kind female gynae I could find who turned out to be the best fit for me at the time. I’m glad I faced that PCOS diagnosis with a head and heart that was willing to learn, understand and act.
This go around, I didn’t shuffle away, cowering in embarrassment and anger. I looked at the ultrasound screen, saw those cysts, listened as she talked me through the hormone markers from my blood work (yes I did a whole other hormone profile!), and asked her a simple question - “so what do I need to do, to deal with this?”
It would be great if I told you that that was where the story turned around. But that was 14 years ago! And I’m still tweaking, optimising, adjusting, falling off the path and trudging back on again….
But with each iteration, I’m learning about my body, learning more about nutrition and biology, building habits and honing my intuition. And most importantly, I’m making progress! And I’m going to share that progress with you.
My PCOS type identification, hormone remedies, frustrations, routines, lessons, mistakes, wins, lifestyle and nutrition choices. I’m just coming right back up from a slump so what better time to get on this journey together?
I’ll drop 2 quick facts here before I go:
The diagnostic criteria for PCOS states that a woman has PCOS if she has at least 2 of the following 3 criteria: a. Irregular or absent periods, b. blood tests or physical signs that show high androgens, c. Polycystic ovaries (Source: NHS UK)
Women can have a regular monthly cycle and still have PCOS (Source: PCOS Nutrition)