What does good living mean to you?

A few years ago, I would have described good living as a state where my big (or at least medium-sized) goals were met, where I was living in a relatively good level of comfort and where stress was minimal, so I could actually enjoy my life. At that point, it was a destination of sorts and if you had dug deeper, I would tell you I was working towards that place - where I felt like I would be living well.

Well, here I am with the benefit of hindsight, foresight and little more portions of sense, saying that that was not very smart of me! I mean the word living is present continuous, right? I’m not talking about achieving something or arriving at some golden gate or being the first to make contact with a ribbon at the finish line, or even finish at all. That would be nice, but wouldn’t it be a shame if that was the only goal? If I got there and only then realised that I missed the view and all the fun along the way? I know and have read of a good number of people who have had similar regrets and I thought you know what, I need to be living… I need to enjoy where I am, while I’m there and seize the day in every sense. Whether it’s the usual carpe diem we hear about with respect to grabbing opportunities, or it’s the 5 minute pause to feel the breeze on my face, or the extra 30 seconds in a conversation I would have otherwise rushed out of because “I’m sooooo busy!”. Of course this realisation didn’t happen in one split second. It was as a result of a series of mediocre days, disappointments and unexplainable fatigue which we can get into another time.

So, to me, today, good living is possible. It’s so achievable that I don’t even consider it a goal anymore. If anything, it should get more difficult for me to not live well. Like, I have to ignore all the good things around me at this moment to actively decide to not have a good life. This should by no means be interpreted to mean that my life is fabulous and I have everything I need. Far from it! I know it sounds counter-intuitive to have a good life by default when life is anything but perfect; but air is free, I can breathe deeply and it helps me relax. I’m walking on two functioning legs and can run in the woods or on the street and feel my heart pump and be energised. I have 3 people within arms reach that I can randomly hug and kiss without them requiring any explanation (I mean they can wonder aloud what is wrong with me [I bet they do so silently every other hour], but I might just get violent, so they’d rather not, for their own sakes).

I have a nice music library and can play feel-good music. I can do stretches and feel the various parts of my body do their thing to contribute to my ability to move effortlessly. I can calm down and reflect while being useful when I swim or cook or bake. Then I can watch people eat my food and feel a sense of fulfilment that I was able to create that smile, that nutrition, that opening for anything that can possibly happen after a tummy is satisfactorily filled up. I can remember good times and bask in the reminiscence of those moments. And none of these depends on what’s happening to me at the moment. Neither job stress, unmet goals, betrayed trust, terrible government policies nor badly behaved people can influence the weather or the amount of air I breathe or the comforting rhythmic beating of my heart. Turns out I do have more control over how I feel than I previously recognised.

And now, being who I am, I apparently cannot rest without pushing myself. So since goals are my thing, I’m challenging myself to find even more ways I can improve the quality of my life, even more little pockets of good living in my everyday. Whether it’s free or cheap or affordable or expensive, I just want to know the various ways I can control my own quality of life. I want to try them out and I want to enjoy them. Imagine how rich my bank of memories would be. Imagine, how much more quality I would bring to our interactions. Imagine how little pain I would feel if I perchance did not achieve those previously massive goals, or how much more fulfilled I would feel if I did.

Now imagine you did the same thing. Imagine how much positivity we would pile on top of each other to the point where the problems (alas, they will still exist) will be solved easier, with less stress, or maybe though unsolved, would be navigated better, with more support and improved perspective. Imagine how deep and rich our relationships would be, and how well we would serve others around us. Imagine how this would reflect on the children we raise; how balanced they would be - understanding clearly that though the world is full of crap, they can navigate through that without severely damaging their inner core; though people can be evil, they can choose to be good and still thrive. Imagine how we would have changed the narrative for their generation.

And to think that we just started by choosing to be calm, present, relaxed, positive, controlled, inspired, vulnerable, firm, restful, well-fed and just happy in our own little bubbles…. Despite all the chaos in the other bubbles around and encompassing us.

What do you say? Can we try this?